Cross # 11.10013

Dallas, GA

It was given to me by a friend – a colleague who works with me in offering hope to adults struggling with life challenges due to the wounding of abuse as a child. 

My passion for others stems from the restoration and redemption of my own story which includes my mother’s desire to abort me prior to my birth.  She and evil worked closely together to take my life and if she couldn’t be successful to take it physically,she would take it emotionally with constant reminders that I was of no value, worthless, and would never amount to anything.  Basically she conveyed to me I should not have lived and she clearly wished I hadn’t.  This opened me up to multiple and varied abuse as a child and teen with multiple scenes in my head and heart of traumatic abuse. Suicide was often my only answer to my pain and I slit my wrists when I was 9, believing evil’s taunts that I should not have lived.  I held my stories closely throughout much of my life, pretending, wearing masks and dressing up my realities as I mothered 5 children, was a pastor’s wife trying to play the games and meet the needs of our church goers and also created home businesses to supp
lement our income.  I was quite a master of putting out there what I thought people wanted, certain the real me was so flawed people would immediately abandon and reject me if they knew my true identity which evil had convinced me was dark and not redeemable.  I spent many of those years believing I was so dirty that even God would not accept me into His Heaven at the end of my earthly life so I lived in fear of death and eternity but I masked it well.  No one knew, not my children or my pastor spouse.  I was a master at false identities.  God found me through a book called The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender.  I am a glorious work in progress.