Cross # 11.12941


I received the cross from a stranger. That’s right, someone I’ve never even met, never heard their voice and don’t know their story was willing to let me tell here it goes..
My husband are high school sweethearts, together since we were 16 years old. We grew up in Evansville, IN a decent sized town with a lot of good people, but we knew it wasn’t the town for us- we had our sights on moving to a bigger city with more opportunities and things to do. So a couple years after our marriage, we decided to go for. My husband starting applying for jobs and in August 2011 we moved to St. petersburg,FL after he was offered a job. His background is in finance, so opportunity to be a financial services consultant with a good starting salary sounddx great- and so we began our journey. We  moved 2 weeks after he accepted the job-15 hrs away from our families and friends to start a new adventure. We loved the first few months(and still love it now) going to the beach and feeling anonymous in our new town. Then big new came, in October we found out we were pregnant. What a shock to us!! We had been together so long, and talked about starting family, but always wanted to do it later on. But you k ow what they say, if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.. As you can imagine we had a lot of emotions. We jut moved, didnt know many people in the town and certainly hadn’t found a doctor yet. As a fews days passed we knew we couldnt change anything, so we started getting really excited. We found a dr and our first appt was scheduled for Dec 1. In the meantime, hubby bought a new video camera and starting filming our journey through pregnancy. I was only a few weeks along, but he was already talking to the baby and thinking of names.a few more weeks passed and it was time for our first dr
appt. The dr revealed we were almost 8 weeks Along and the heart was beating a rate of 136. We also saw our very first photo of our new bundle of joy. They scheduled our next appt on my 26th birthday, Dec.29 which was also my 12th wk of pregnancy and the end of my first tri- mester. In the weeks leading up to our next appt we began telling everyone. Including family,friends and co workers. My husband even told clients that we were expecting. A few more wks passed and I went to my 12th wk appt on my birthday alone as my hubby wasnt able to get off work. The dr said it would be routine, so we didnt think it would be a big deal. As i arrived and was took in the back room, the dr began using the hand held ultrasound to check for the heartbeat an head nothing. He said it could be the position of the baby, so i initially thougt nothing of it. I was then send into another room where they performed 2 different types of ultrasounds, again we heard nothing. I thought “how could this be happening? I’ve been nothing but sick with terrible morning sickness and an extreme sensitivity to smells. I made my husband throw out our entire 12lb turkey because it smelled so bad! There must be a mistake, what is happening.I haven’t been in any pain or had any cramping or bleeding. I want my husband here, it’s my birthday!!!” The nurse then told me i needed to gi into another room and wait for the dr, but I knew what they were going to tell me:
I had a miscarriage.  I burst into tears. The dr told me I had what is called a missed miscarriage, where my body does not realize the baby is no longer viable, which is why I had no symptoms. He also told me the baby was somehwere between 8-10 wks old. I was crushed. We had just went to the beach and took photos for our Christmas card/baby announcement, which I know now that my baby wasnt even alive when we were making the photos. The dr also told me, I could expect for my body to expel the fetus within the next few wks or could opt for a D&C to remove the baby. I left the office feeling sick. Like I lost a part of me. I called my husband and he immediately left work and arrived at our house. He had a cake and flowers to celebrate my birthday, but neither of us felt like celebrating.. We also talked about our options for removing the baby and decided naturally was the best. We knew it would be hard as the next few days were New Years Eve and our friends from home were coming in to celebrate with us. We told them what happened, but they can only sympathize as they have not been in that situation and have no idea what it feels like. Since we decided to do it naturally, we spent  the next week wondering  when it was going to happen. Without going into too much details of the process, I began having labor pains on Wednesday morning and passed the baby 24hrs later at home in our bath tub with my husband by my side. It was extremely painful and the doctor wanted to make sure we identified our baby. Unfortunately, we did. It was obvious to know what it was and I do not know if we will ever get that image out of our minds. We spent the next weeks trying to heal. And thats how I was given the cross. A client of my husbands, who had came in when we found out we were expecting had came back after we found out of our miscarriage. She expressed her deepest sympathy and later gave this wonderful cross to my husband. We’ve been through a lot, but I God does n
ot give you anything you cant handle, including moving you 15hrs away from your family and friends, giving you a child and then telling you on your birthday your no longer pregnant. We know the time ahead will be hard, but we take comfort in knowing that we will have a child on God’s time. Thank you for allowing me to share my story and for the wonderful Angel who gave me this cross that will allow me to help another person in their journey called life