Cross #13.836

Courtney
Madisonville, KY

Hello! My name is Courtney and I would like to tell you my journey to receiving this perfect cross. I was fortunate to be raised in a home where my mother was a Christian, making sure that her children went to church and knew the gospel. At eight years old I said the sinners prayer and got baptized and thought that is what it took to be a Christian. As an eight year old, I didn’t truly know how to live it out. So from then on, I lived my life the way I thought Christians did, by being morally good. The summer before my freshman year of high school my parents got a divorce. My dad had been cheating on my mom for eleven years. My dad is not a Christian. With this division taking place, my life never looked the same. My mom ended up getting remarried two summers later to a Christian man but that meant we had to move houses. My new house was an hour away from the school I attended, causing me to be constantly tired and irritable. Midway through the year I moved in with my dad and transferred high schools. It was a totally different scene than my first school. At this one, no one seemed to be living morally good lives, which essentially caused me to find a new way to live. I met some girls who accepted me into their group but also brought me into their sin. It wasn’t long after transferring that I drank my first drink and then not too much longer until I was getting drunk. Then on top of this new sin,
a guy started showing me interest. We ended up starting a relationship and at this time we both called ourselves Christians and went through a purity banquet together. Nine months into the relationship things changed. Our relationship wasn’t Christ-centered anymore, it was sex-centered. After nine months of our relationship revolving around sex, it wasn’t satisfying anymore. At this same time I was playing varsity softball and had played my entire life. The week before graduation I shattered my thumb and had to have surgery to have screws put in it. I then had to watch my team play in districts, regionals, and state. The next week I walked across the stage to graduate and two days later my boyfriend and I broke up. Everything in my life was ending; my softball career, the relationship with who I thought was the love of my life, and high school. I was so depressed. I went through a stage where I didn’t eat for like two months and I didn’t want to do anything. Within the next month I had a few guys use me just to get sex. They said all I had to do was have sex with someone else and it would all get better; they were totally wrong! I felt even worse about myself.
At this point I did not see any reason to live anymore. I was having suicidal thoughts and thought everyone else would be better off without me. One night I found myself home alone with a knife to my wrist really just wanted to not feel any more pain and wanting to end everything when I just fell to my knees crying out to Jesus and just begging for Him to save me. I gave my life to Christ that night. It didn’t just automatically get easy for me. I still had people tempting me with different sins and some of them were harder to say no to than the others. After I informed my ex that I had truly given my life to Christ and that I had been changed, it was like he still didn’t believe me. The next week while I was sitting at the computer desk working on homework, I heard the front door open. I honestly didn’t think anything about it because we had some people living with us at the time who were also coming and going as they pleased. The next thing I knew though, my chair had been leaned back and someones lips were on mine. no matter how many times I said no, he was getting what he camefor, sex! I was raped that day and was truly questioning why God had allowed it to happen. It wasn’t until a year later that the Lord brought a young girl to me that had just been raped and needed help because she had never told anyone and
was broken inside. The Lord has truly used every part of my testimony to
help others with the same situations. Through an on-campus ministry at the
college I attend, I was able to study forgiveness on a summer project and
actually came to the point where I could genuinely forgive the guy who did this
to me. Also through this ministry, my best friend came to Christ and we were
able to go on a ten week evangelistic training project together in Tampa,
Florida, where she actually got me this cross and said it instantly reminded her
of me because of the scars that I do have in my life. Thank you for allowing me
to be a small part of this ministry!