I found my way indirectly to AnsweredPrayersCross Ministry. Our art class had to find a temporary location in the midst of a longer term move. As I walked into the large room I could definitely sense a peaceful spirit and was very pleased to be here. Artists many times have very temperamental spirits and it hasn’t been easy to stay in the midst of them when you don’t fit the profile. I have never done anything in art and was looking for a creative outlet after ten years in Inner Healing and Deliverance Ministry. You can really get burned out always ministering to the problems of others. Doing deep healing for those coming from traumatic abuse can be very challenging and rewarding but also very draining. There isn’t always support from other ministers because they don’t understand the need people have. Each experience is individual and requires individualized care. It doesn’t fit a standard counseling approach.
Every week I would walk around the studio studying each of the crosses, praying and looking to receive something from the Holy Spirit about the story each one might tell. The second week I was able to spend some time with Elizabeth to learn more about her story and the story behind the Cross ministry. I was very moved by the inventive approach of ‘passing the cross on’ to someone else, not making it a possession. I must admit I was very tempted to pick out those that spoke to me and keep them on the wall at home. But that would negate the purpose. We had a long lunch break today so I took the time to go through every shelf, every box, every table and all the walls three times looking for the perfect crosses. I couldn’t find the ‘pretty’ ones; I found the ones that were ‘precious’, chosen by Him. I bought five.
This is the fifth one I am registering. It has the word ‘Dream’ stamped into the cross on the back with a green wash painted on the front with yellow dogwood flowers. It also looks like there is a leaf or feather impression pressed into the back along with the word DREAM. I picked this cross because I wanted on from my lifelong friend, Jan, and the colors and flowers remind me of what she likes. We have been such good friends for so long. She is my sister in all ways but by birth. My own sister always hated me. Strong words but the bottom line was that it was true. No matter what I tried, she just didn’t like my personality. We had a mother that didn’t like her children and lied about so much. She would go out of her way to destroy relationships and worth. Jan also had a mother that was unkind. We shared that experience as well. Your dream of an ideal family might not have come to pass but that doesn’t mean you should not dream of so much more to come. At this stage of our lives, Jan and I are fulfilling the dreams we talked about when we were young; dreams that have us spending time together exploring. The more I mused about why God had me pick this cross up, I came to realize that the feather on the back could be construed as a writing instrument and God was saying ‘to write your own NEW story, your DREAM of a new future’.
More damage is done by words spoken and nurturing that is withheld than by physical abuse. One of the reasons I sought out inner healing and deliverance for myself was to get rid of the nasty curses and lies that were spoken over me. Now I wish this for everyone and that they would find a safe haven in order to find the person that God made them from before they were born. The words and impressions on this cross are a reminder to dream a new dream. We might not have been celebrated by our birth parents but we were definitely chosen by God. Hearts can be mended and minds renewed, the tapes of the past erased; you don’t have to stay in a place that someone else has made for you. God wants you to fulfill your dreams. I have continuously received a prophetic word spoken over me for over 25 years. It just took me a while to believe it.
11 ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.